Content warning: This story discusses suicidal thoughts. For 24-hour suicide prevention services and crisis support, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 .

‘For more than fifteen years I have been a carer for my daughter with borderline personality disorder (BPD), and also for my grandson who has been diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder,’ Dalphne says. ‘I’ve found my role as a carer both challenging and rewarding.’

Every day involves navigating the emotional highs and lows that come with BPD, offering consistent support, understanding and patience. Over time, Dalphne discovered new skills as a carer, including considerable growth in trust and connection with her daughter.

‘Initially, I was extremely uncertain when I took on my carer duty. I had no knowledge and was struggling to understand the intense psychological and physical behaviours my daughter exhibited daily.’

At times it took a huge toll on both Dalphne and her daughter especially when she had suicidal thoughts. ‘In moments like this, I knew I had to give her all the support she required,’ she says.

As the years passed, their bond grew stronger. They learned to communicate openly and honestly, finding ways to navigate the challenges of her daughter’s illness with grace and compassion.

Though there were still difficult days, filled with tears and frustration, there were also moments of joy and laughter that reminded Dalphne of her daughter’s resilient spirit.

‘Today as I look back on our journey together, and as I watch my daughter navigate the world with courage and grace, I am reminded of the incredible strength that lies within her – a strength that inspires me each and every day.’

Dalphne also cares for her grandson, who is now 15 years old. This has been both challenging and rewarding. Simple routines that many take for granted, such as getting dressed or mealtimes, require patience and creativity.

‘I’ve learned to interpret his non-verbal cues and celebrate his unique way of communicating. Together, we've developed strategies to manage sensory sensitivities and foster his interests, whether it’s through specialised therapies or activities that bring him joy,’ Dalphne says.

She has learnt to appreciate the small victories and the growth that comes with patience and understanding. It’s a journey that requires constant learning and adaptation but seeing her grandson thrive and express himself makes every effort worthwhile.

When asked what advice she would give to other carers, Dalphne simply encourages them not to be afraid to speak about their experiences.

‘Carers like me have much difficulty accepting mental illness. Especially when it is not spoken about in your culture. I want other carers who are facing this similar issue to come forward to share their voice.’